October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month

October is often associated with cozy sweaters, pumpkin patches, and the changing of the seasons. But for me, it carries a deeper significance. October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month—a time to shine a light on the hidden realities that too many people endure behind closed doors. It’s a time to speak up for those who feel voiceless, to honor survivors, and to remember the lives lost to abuse.

This month, I reflect on my own journey through domestic violence—one marked by fear, silence, resilience, and, ultimately, freedom. My story is not unique, and that’s exactly why it matters. Every time a survivor speaks their truth, it chips away at the stigma that keeps so many trapped.

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It Didn’t Start with Violence

When people imagine domestic violence, they often picture physical injuries—bruises, black eyes, broken bones. But my experience began far more subtly. It started with controlling behaviors disguised as love: excessive jealousy, questioning who I spoke to, monitoring what I wore, and slowly isolating me from friends and family.

At first, it felt like intense care. I thought, He must really love me to be this protective. Over time, that “protection” became suffocating. My world grew smaller, my sense of self dimmer, and my independence quietly disappeared. Abuse often begins this way—not with a slap, but with control.

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When Love Turns Violent

The first time he put his hands on me, I sat in stunned silence. I remember holding my neck, convincing myself it wasn’t as bad as it felt. He’s just stressed. I provoked him. It won’t happen again. These are the lies survivors often tell themselves to rationalize what should never be rationalized.

But it did happen again. And again. The abuse escalated, spanning emotional, verbal, physical, and psychological harm. I began to read his moods like a weather forecast, adjusting my words, clothes, and behaviors to avoid “setting him off.” I existed in a constant state of survival, walking on eggshells in my own home.

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The Breaking Point

Every survivor has a moment when something inside shifts. For me, it was the night I looked into the mirror and didn’t recognize the woman staring back. Her eyes were hollow, her voice was gone. I realized if I stayed, one day there might be nothing left of me to save.

Leaving was not a single moment—it was a series of calculated, courageous steps. Contrary to the common question, “Why didn’t you just leave?”, the most dangerous time for a survivor is often when they try to escape. I made a plan quietly, with the help of my parents and a few trusted friends, and found the strength to walk away.

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October: A Time to Break the Silence

Every October, I’m reminded that my story is part of a larger movement. Domestic Violence Awareness Month is more than a campaign; it’s a collective call to action. The purple ribbon symbolizes courage, survival, honor, and the fight to end abuse. When I see that ribbon, I think of those who didn’t make it out and those who are still gathering the strength to try.

This month is about amplifying voices, raising awareness, and providing resources. It’s about transforming silence into support and shame into empowerment.

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Healing Is Not Linear

Leaving was the first step; healing has been the journey. Some days I feel strong, grounded, and whole. Other days, memories resurface and fear creeps in unexpectedly. But I’ve learned that healing is not about perfection—it’s about persistence. It’s about granting myself permission to grieve, to rebuild, and to love myself again.

Therapy, support groups, and reclaiming my voice have been essential parts of my recovery. Speaking openly is no longer terrifying; it’s liberating. For years, my abuser silenced me. Now, every time I share my story, I reclaim a piece of my power.

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A Message to Those Still in the Darkness

If you are living in an abusive situation, please know this: you are not to blame. You are not weak. And you are not alone. Reaching out for help is not a sign of failure—it’s a sign of unimaginable courage. Whether you confide in a friend, contact a hotline, or quietly make a plan, every step matters.

Your life is worth more than the pain you’ve been conditioned to accept.

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Resources & Support

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, help is available:

• National Domestic Violence Hotline (U.S.): 1-800-799-7233 or thehotline.org
• Text: “START” to 88788
• If you are in immediate danger, call 911.

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Thriving Beyond Survival

Today, I stand as more than a survivor—I am thriving. October is not just about remembering the pain I endured; it’s about celebrating the resilience that carried me through. It’s about envisioning a world where no one has to suffer in silence and every survivor knows their voice matters.

By telling my story, I hope to inspire others to tell theirs. Together, we can transform pain into purpose and create lasting change.